suffering – a poet's confessional

time travel

can someone find her? the one who faced it all if you find her, embrace her physical form and cradle her fragile soul tell her that it will all change, that it will not be okay, but things will be better, so much better tell her she is the strongest thing i have ever knownContinue reading “time travel”

vein of storms

i have been told that i look like a stormespecially my eyesgrey and cold like oneor visceral and bright blue like onethe ring of yellow and white like a strike of a lightning bolti have always have had pride in suchone point of me i find beautiful amongst the what i do notbut i amContinue reading “vein of storms”

sleep

i let you sleep that night when everything was crushing me a suffering beyond the point of recognition and i simply stared darkness right in eye i shouldn’t have let you sleep i should have begged you to stay awake and try to save me

it is a disease

you don’t know why anymore you don’t understand why you let yourself do this sometimes you shake as your mind fights with itself and your hand quivers as one slice becomes jagged and unclean sometimes you are so still and you don’t think and your hand is precise and to the point, and it doesn’tContinue reading “it is a disease”

brainwashed

i told myself i was never abused he never bruised this pale skin or cut into my flesh, hurting me i never thought emotional abuse was what he did to me he never outright called me names or told me demeaning things about who i was or what i looked like i was just aContinue reading “brainwashed”

you would not want me to suffer in sadness because of your death

i wailed for days before you died but now, after there are no tears there is an empty spot in my soul now that you are gone but i must not dwell in that spot i must move on, I must heal

my two mothers are set in heaven now

you are not suffering any more you are free you have joined your brothers, your sisters your mother, your father your son, your daughter

mutual

dear 2019 i walk to you unprepared your predecessor left me a changed woman i became stronger in the beginning and remain but in your first moments i come to you suffering and broken there is no tears but my heart aches and i can’t breathe but you know, i will fight on another dayContinue reading “mutual”

i am giving myself redemption

you ran out of that classroom your face was red and your eyes forward with purpose i don’t know what happened, but in some ways i understand i almost sneered, happy in someone’s pain but i am not a cruel beast, even when i should be i was confused at first, not knowing all theContinue reading “i am giving myself redemption”