dishonored philosopher – Page 4 – a poet's confessional

time capsule

who have i become? a little girl asks a big girl they are the same, same eyes, same hair but the little girl does not know pain, while it surrounds her the big girl lives with pain, within her and around her one has big blue eyes one has grey eyes one is full oneContinue reading “time capsule”

i sneer into their faces and laugh

remember future the poem i wrote? now i see myself the same and there will be an engineer and there will be an artist but that baby won’t be theirs the future is changing and they, they have finally realized it

in the end

in the end my friend after all of our trials after all of our joys we will be together in the end

you made your choice

i am not angry with her no, no, i am not, even when others tell me i should be i am angry with him, i suppose for making the wrong decision

eyes

you and i see each other sitting in uncomfortable green chairs as a hulking man drones on or sitting in too small desks as others howl with laughter your feet tap i have no idea if you are nervous or just long to stand and be free i pick my nails i have no ideaContinue reading “eyes”

new year’s resolution

this new years i will not lie to myself and give false hope nothing will magically change as the calendar changes no matter how much I will it to be i will remain in this cursed house with my drunk father with my echoing thoughts and no one to understand but i will try iContinue reading “new year’s resolution”

mutual

dear 2019 i walk to you unprepared your predecessor left me a changed woman i became stronger in the beginning and remain but in your first moments i come to you suffering and broken there is no tears but my heart aches and i can’t breathe but you know, i will fight on another dayContinue reading “mutual”

fiction

i must accept the reality before me i must sit each day and accept but in the night i deny and deny i live in fiction to hide the pain

i am giving myself redemption

you ran out of that classroom your face was red and your eyes forward with purpose i don’t know what happened, but in some ways i understand i almost sneered, happy in someone’s pain but i am not a cruel beast, even when i should be i was confused at first, not knowing all theContinue reading “i am giving myself redemption”

petty heart

i am sorry i knew you as an acquaintance we worked on the same plane but barely talked you have pissed me off, yes for sure but i should not hate you, not anyone i apologize for the filth i spoke you never knew but it weighs on me all over a pretty boy andContinue reading “petty heart”