thewandereroftheworlds

physical pain disappears, the other does not

pain comes from streams of crimson but at least physical pain is better than the alternative

from: me. to: myself

bite back your words force a smile on that face brighten those dead eyes fake that emotion, girl because no one really cares anyway

tally marks

marks mar her skin some are dark some are pale some are old some are new some are raised and some are faded but in the end they all mean the same to her

ghosted

when you gather the courage and cry out for help in a few short vague words to those you think you trust they read those words and become a ghost or respond and move away and it all hurts even more

“if you ever need anything, call me” “if you are not feeling good don’t hesitate to talk to me” “if you are depressed again, just tell me and i can help” that is what they all say “i will, i promise.” i reply as a stare into an empty bowl my words are lies becauseContinue reading “consequences”

you were made to trick a fool, you know

dear jon, you were never real you were based off someone fictional and in the end you were completely fictional down to your long, soft hair your dark, near black, eyes your indescribable nose (adjectives left me in that time) your attached yet ridged ears (too many questions) you were unreal and every romantic thingContinue reading “you were made to trick a fool, you know”

loss, a chronicle

i watched as goodness died in my arms “i will save you. . .” his laughter was intermittent with dying heaves he knew what i did not i did not speak for days empty, my eyes blinked at a coffin tears could not fall sobs could not shake me i glimpsed the dark when iContinue reading “loss, a chronicle”

legends

smoke, fog, a haze a haze of hostility a haze of fear cold rain, warm air this place had to be cursed cursed, yet beautiful in a wicked way “We cannot talk our way out of this.” said the dragon he was met with no answer, only their footsteps on the earth heroes, the giant,Continue reading “legends”

old habits die hard

it takes a lot of courage to admit thisthe fact that i still want my blood painting a shower wallbecause i once said physical pain was better than the alternativethat statement still holds truei understand that it is an addiction to a toxic relationshipand i shall never return to itbut it still haunts me, callsContinue reading “old habits die hard”

bad examples

i am sorry i wish i didn’t always bring up my own trauma in response to others’but sometimes it is all i havei am getting better, i thinkbut i hate when others do the samei will try not to do it for that mindsetto truly understand what others meanthan my own selfish desire to speak