searching

i long for what you have
may you curse them sometimes but they are still there, while mine are long in graves
it is not envy, or jealousy, but longing
a deep and a steady ache
i hope they and you do not mind
because i know i will search and search in others for what i have lost
but when i am there, i feel a bit of what it could have been and i cherish it deep in my heart