brainwashed

i told myself i was never abused
he never bruised this pale skin
or cut into my flesh, hurting me
i never thought emotional abuse was what he did to me
he never outright called me names
or told me demeaning things about who i was or what i looked like
i was just a child
a child who lived with suffering from an age too early
suffering was just second nature to me
i never realized his lying to me over and over again was abuse
i didn’t know that him using me as some sort of shield was abuse
i did not accept abuse was that he used my sympathy like a greedy child every time
a child should never have to go through that
and yet i did