eyes

you and i see each other
sitting in uncomfortable green chairs as a hulking man drones on
or sitting in too small desks as others howl with laughter
your feet tap
i have no idea if you are nervous
or just long to stand and be free
i pick my nails
i have no idea if i am nervous
Or trying to remove the dirt that i feel, but cannot see
i see you
and you see me

i watch in passing
it has always been secretive because i cannot be known
because i never know, i never believe
i see you

you see me
in that hot room where it seems like there is a stench that cannot be removed
or in that cold room where you shiver because the heat never seeps in
i catch your eyes every once in awhile, when you think i may not look
in quiet times when you are finished, unknowing of what is to come
or when i grin with my best friend
you turn then, wishing to know what we say, to be included
i see you then
i wish to learn, include and understand you
but the words turn to ash as i look at you